


Johndave Week One Shots

by Slippery Tummy (darleen8)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:15:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7398232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darleen8/pseuds/Slippery%20Tummy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are my stories for JohnDave week 2016. Day 1 is favorite canon interaction, Day 2 is AU day, Day 3 is Confession/First Date, Day 4 is Hurt/Comfort, Friday is a free space, Saturday is NSFW, and Sunday is Davesprite! This is my first work on AO3, but I do write on ffn too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my first work on AO3, but I do fanfiction as well. Enjoy!

Dave ran a hand through his hair, then grimaced. That’s right, he couldn’t do that since he’d started adding gel to it. So, with a sigh, the thirteen year old walked to the sink and rinsed it off. He glanced at himself in the mirror. Even under his dark shades, Dave could notice the bruise on his arm. Despite the pain, he was a little relieved. A strife yesterday meant he didn’t have to deal with it today. Of course, he had other things to worry about.  
A certain Lalonde had been bothering him all day about some game they had to play. Between Jade’s cryptic ramblings, TT’s incessant (yet grandiloquent) messages, and John’s birthday, it seemed like the world was forcing him to play this. So, he already had his copy, much like Rose, and Jade’s was coming soon. The only person that didn’t have theirs out of the little friend group was John, and that was due to some stupid baking complications.  
Still, he couldn’t penalize his best friend. After all, he really hated those cakes, and it was his birthday. Unfortunately, Rose had been talking to him all day, insisting that he play this game with her. Honestly, the game didn’t look that fun. The promise of ‘making a new universe’ seemed like a ridiculous goal, considering that it was all in game and they couldn’t do anything with it in real life, to his understanding. That, and Game bro completely dissed it. Despite the fact that John didn’t respect the magazine’s opinions, Dave did, and if they could tell a game was awful without even playing it, it wasn’t worth his time.  
John was the only one that seemed exceptionally excited about it, and Dave hoped he could get him to play it with Rose, so he wouldn’t have to deal with her whining. In fact, he should probably start convincing him now- her whines were getting annoying. Granted, she whined with four syllable words that had a poetic quality, but they were still whines. So, he decided he’d just use his computer to message John, and began.

Turntech godhead (TG) began pestering ecto Biologist (EB).  
TG: is it there  
TG: plz say yes  
TG: maybe you can play with TT, she’s been pestering me all day about it.  
TG: she’s mackin on me so hard all the time i start to feel embarrassed for her  
TG: i mean not that i can blame her or anything

Dave waited for a few seconds, and thankfully, John’s reply came. He may have been busy doing birthday stuff, but it was still nice to talk to him on his special day. After all, you only turn thirteen once, unless you time traveled or something.

EB: yes, it is understandable because you are really attractive. i am attracted to you.

Dave read his words and blinked. What did he just say? This was probably some joke, or something. Still, it made his face heat up in a way the sun in Texas couldn’t, and Dave felt embarrassed about not keeping his poker face up. Then again, it was hard not to. They’d tried out Skype a few weeks ago, and since then, Dave had an image in his mind when he thought about John Egbert. They were still thirteen, but Dave was a little surprised by his appearance. He always expected John to wear bow ties, and have ridiculously neat hair.

What he got was a normal kid, with giant sapphire like eyes and a ridiculously happy bucktoothed smile. His everything was messy and wrinkled, and he looked like the most excited person in the world when he talked to Dave. The memory made Dave want to smile when he thought about it, but he forced his lips back into their usual impassive position. He was attractive too, in his own ultimate dork way. Of course, Dave liked the way his friend looked, a lot. So he liked it when John said he was attractive too. Dave knew that already- he did get some of the coolest genes in the world, and was probably the coolest thirteen year old on the planet. John still didn’t know his eyes were red, because he wore the sunglasses he gave him on the call.

Dave had been wearing them daily since he received the gift from John. They were a cool pair of aviators, if he did say so himself, and he appreciated the gift a lot. Maybe it was because he had some other way to be different from his older brother now. He thought his older brother was the coolest person in the world, but Dave like the idea of developing his own interests and life.

So, while his older brother ran the world’s largest porn company, he strode (heh) to be different. Of course, he still wanted to be successful, like him. However, Dave wanted to do it in a way that didn’t make him a carbon copy of his older brother. So, when he got those shades he appreciated them, a lot. Plus, they were from John Egbert, his best friend. Call him impressionable, but if John Egbert said he looked attractive with the shades he wore every day, Dave’s desire to wear them only increased. Actually, the compliment just made him appreciate his new (5 months old?) sunglasses more.

The thing was, John didn’t just say he was attractive. That statement was well enough within the bro zone, and while Dave would have liked to read into it, he knew he was attractive, and probably couldn’t. In fact, if that was all he said, he wouldn’t even be having this line of thoughts in his head. Of course, John said more. John said he was ‘attracted to him’. And if that didn’t make Dave’s cheeks burn and heart speed up a little, he didn’t know what would. Because holy shit, his aesthetically pleasing (cute) nerd of a best friend said he was attracted to him.

He already admitted John was attractive, maybe even more so, to him at least, than Jade and Rose. It probably factored in the close, personal relationship they shared. Still, John, of all his friends, said he was attracted to Dave. Dave Strider. If Rose said it, he’d take it for more of their teasing half flirt half fight things they did, as friends. If Jade said it, he would have thanked her and smiled fondly, but probably not taken it too seriously. After all, Jade was the nicest of his friends, and her constant outpour of kindness seemed almost inhuman.

The thing was, none of those friends said it. John Egbert said it. The words made his head feel funny and his heart race, and Dave already knew why. He was his best friend, and Dave cared about John more than anyone else, even Bro. Not that he would let himself admit he cared about Bro, because being gushy for no reason was not cool with his older brother. Dave agreed with the philosophy- why be gushy when you could be tall, dark, mysterious and awesome? Of course, he kept trying to make the theory apply with John, but he found himself unable.

Dave already figured out that he liked John. It was a day after he realized he would see his friend, webcam to webcam, for the first time. They talked about it, agreed on a day, and did it. He thought about how excited he was when he realized he could find out what his best friend looked like that night, and instantly, he knew. He went through approximately five minutes of denial before realizing that it was true. Yeah, he liked John. He really liked John, in a ‘like like’ way. He never knew when to tell him about it, and wasn’t sure when his feelings would fade. He hoped they didn’t, and yet he hoped they did.

Dave loved joking with John, or entertaining (boring) him with his raps. He liked it when he’d wake up and see blue text, or hear a buzz before falling asleep and know he was saying goodnight, after fifty times on both ends, just to get the last word. He liked that his best friend thought he was cool, even when he felt like nothing more than an unskilled, unsuccessful carbon-based copy of his older brother. He like that John knew when he was upset, even when Rose of all people couldn’t tell. He liked when he would scream for hours after he heard something stupid about an awful movie. He pretended not to like it when John ranted about Nic Cage, but Dave found it the slightest bit endearing.

To put it shortly, this sunglasses wearing, early puberty, technically- a- teen boy was head over heels for his best friend in the world, who just admitted he was attracted to him. Either that, or this was the start of some joke that John couldn’t understand wasn’t funny. Which reminded him, he needed to hurry up and respond to John.  
Unfortunately, the boy did not know how he would respond. Would ‘I’m attracted to you too’ suffice? Because even at thirteen, Dave realized he was. He was attracted to his friend too. Heck, he wasn’t sure if that was a joke, or an admission, or something else. Still, Dave found himself wishing it could be an admission. He wanted it to be an invitation, from his best friend on his birthday, so Dave could accept. Dave wanted to be cool, and dashing, and maybe, possibly end up doing date type things with John, despite the fact that he lived so far away.

But if this was just a joke, he could have embarrassed himself horribly. Dave didn’t want to mess up their awesome friendship, and couldn’t bare the idea of losing John over a misunderstanding. Still, that sounded as much like a confession could sound, while still being causal, and Dave didn’t know if John was joking. So he needed a response that didn’t sound like a rejection, because he couldn’t ever reject John when he liked him too. Well, John had given him a compliment. So, just in case he really was just joking, he responded the way he did.

TG: thank you

Dave held his breath as he waited for John’s response. Was that too harsh, or not enough? The boy couldn’t tell if he should elaborate, or not. So, he waited. And Dave felt like he waited for hours, but in reality, it may have been a minute, at the most.

EB: jk haha.  
EB: no, i don't have it yet.

Dave’s shoulders dropped. He was joking. Well, he couldn’t allow himself to look upset, but he was definitely upset. To think, that he thought John was actually into him seemed laughable now. After all, his friend had a clear, open policy of not being a homosexual. Dave was just being stupid the entire time. He hoped his feelings would fade away soon, because it was clear they were unrequited. He sighed, and continued their conversation in dismay. Then again, Dave should have known not to get his hopes up anyway. He and John were best friends, and it was clear that was all they’d ever be.

* * *

 

John pushed away from his computer with an irritated sigh. That was a stupid attempt, and he knew it. Well, he apparently had other things to do with this sylladex of his anyway. Still, he should have known Dave wouldn’t go for the idea. His friend was the essence of cool, and being even the slightest bit bisexual clearly wasn’t an option. He saw how he flirted with both Rose and Jade, and how they responded to having his attentions on them. Of course, and Dave’s closest friend, Dave naturally gave John more prevalence, but still. That was no reason to assume that he’d ever returned his feelings.

And John couldn’t have been more clear with what he said, meaning that his simple ‘thank you’ of a response was a kind way of implying no. Or worse, Dave couldn’t even consider that the words were anything other than a friendly compliment, because of how platonically he viewed the boy. Either way, Dave seemed more than willing to forget he ever said anything, and John was more than okay with following his example. So, he’d been rejected on his birthday. Well, not outright rejected, but clearly not accepted. If you felt the same way about someone, you didn’t respond to it with ‘thank you’, and John knew it. He just hoped his stupid feelings would fade eventually.

So what if John felt himself grin when he talked to Dave, or always wanted to be the last person he spoke to at night? It certainly didn’t matter that Dave was the coolest person he knew. The boy definitely didn’t care that when he knew he made him laugh, it was like he’d scored some wonderful accomplishment. It wasn’t relevant that Dave was ridiculously attractive, and would show some parts of himself that he kept hidden from everyone to John. He didn’t feel touched that Dave wore the sunglasses John gave him, and he had no intention of hugging his birthday present from Dave tonight.

None of that mattered, because Dave didn’t feel the same way. He had no reason to, but it still hurt. So, John played it off. He played off the fact that he’d been dying with anxiety, even temporarily ignoring Dave on his birthday in an attempt to delay his confession. Still, he did it, just like he promised himself he would, and as expected, Dave didn’t feel the same. John didn’t know why he even considered something different happening. Dave, the cool kid who got all of the ladies lacked romantic interest in him, and he never would feel the same.

With that settled, John still felt upset, but he had better things to do than just mope about his feelings. Granted, he wanted to, but he was thirteen now. He needed to get over it, and start doing what Dave suggested, with his sylladex. So, he put the arms and the cake together. It worked, and John sighed. Of course it worked, Dave told him to do it. The boy shook his head. He could feel upset about his expected, unrequited feelings later. For now, he had a game to play, and if it could take his mind off Dave, he was more than ready to give it a try.


	2. Favorite AU

Twenty one. That’s how old he was today, December 2nd. He knew Jade would turn the same age tomorrow, and Rose was two days older than him. Really, the only person that wasn’t hopping on the ‘old enough to drink’ train was John, because he was the youngest out of their friends. All were in separate colleges across the country, and had been friends for the majority of their lives. The four internet buddies were all close, and all stuck together for years on end. Really, they had some stupid online super hero game to thank, since they all liked it when they were seven (or six, in John’s case) years old. The creator clearly couldn’t spell the word ‘suburb’, but he could make an addicting game for teams of young children.

He knew his older brother would call him today after class, and he didn’t even need to check his I phone to know three messages saying happy birthday would greet him if he checked the notifications. However, Dave did know that he needed to get ready and leave, because he had an 8am class, and it was seven in the morning. So he pulled himself out of bed, and ran through the process of getting ready. Once he got out of the shower and styled his hair, he had less than 20 minutes to get there. So, the sword fighting film student poured apple jacks in a bowl, added milk, and ate as quickly as possible. Once he finished he stepped out of the dorm, not caring too much about waking his roommate, and let.

After a fairly uneventful day of classes, Dave returned. He got some work done, but decided he’d save the heavy work for later. His older roommate was long gone, but he did find a red and blue frosted yellow cupcake on the table, with a note. The blonde smirked- Sollux was a nice guy once you got to know him, and Dave appreciated the gift of confectionary goodness. Shortly after eating the cupcake, he received a call from his brother. The man, not one to mince words, wished him a happy birthday and told him he could just give him his present in a few weeks, when he planned to visit home.

That reminded him, his term was ending soon and he needed to finish up his end of the year project. It would be a while before everyone was ready to get on anyway, and this editing thing needed to be done soon. So, he got to work on editing. Eventually, it was around time for his friends to get on, and he recived little texts. They all decided on Skyping, as they had two nights ago and planned to do tomorrow, for Jade’s birthday. Yes, they were all busy college students, but they always made time for each other when they could. Once everyone was ready, Dave started a group call and added his three friends.

“David, happy birthday.” Before Dave could respond, Jade jumped in.

“Rose, come on! I wanted to say it first!” She whined, and he heard John’s laugh as his face came up on screen as well.

“Now now ladies, don’t all fight over me at once. You can all take turns in wishing me a happy birthday.” Dave said, and he saw John roll his eyes.

“All’s fair in birthdays and war, Jade. But happy birthday, Dave!” John announced, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, says you. Happy birthday Dave.” The blonde couldn’t keep a smirk off his face. He genuinely enjoyed his three friends, and he was glad they could talk on his birthday.

“Thanks, you guys. I can’t wait to get home and see your stuff.” They sang happy birthday, and Dave mentioned his cupcake, but eventually the conversation turned towards Jade’s upcoming birthday. “So, Jade. You ready for tomorrow?” Dave asked, and Jade spoke up.

“Yeah! And since we’re all turning 21 on the same year, we’ll all be finding our soul mates on the first!” Jade said, and John coughed. “Okay, except for you, John. Still, that’s crazy right?” Jade asked, and John pouted.

“It’s not just crazy, it’s not fair! All of you guys get to figure out who it is this new years, but I have to wait an entire extra year just because my birthday is in April. You guys are all going to be off in dating wonderland, I have to wait!”

“Your birthday has a silver lining to it, John. At least you get to receive your birthday presents from us on your actual birthday, instead of waiting for the holidays. So, I must say you’re being a little over dramatic. Also, you’re not suggesting that we’d all ditch you for our soul mates, right?” Rose asked, and Dave spoke up.

“Please bro, you’ll get just as much time as before. You’ll just have to spend some of it listening to us ranting about our lovely ladies or delicious dudes, and then you can do the same thing when you get yours.” Dave said, but leaned back. “I wonder what mine’s going to be like.” Jade giggled.

“She’s probably going to be like, a superstar or something. Maybe she’ll star in your first movie.” Jade said, and John added in his two cents.

“Nah, you know opposites attract, Jade. She’ll probably be the nerdiest person in existence, and hate your raps. Maybe she’s a weaboo or something.” Dave shuddered. He wouldn’t have had anything against anime if it wasn’t for his brother.  The blonde couldn’t count how many times he’d seen his brother dressed up as a scantily dressed girl for ‘cosplay’, and it horrified him. He knew his brother already felt comfortable being naked, considering he was surrounded by nudity for work, but Dave couldn’t take pleasure in seeing a naked sibling. There was a point in time when his brother refused to give him groceries until he referred to him as nisan, and it was a very scaring experience for a twelve year old.

“Dude, don’t say that, I want to be excited for this thing.” Dave said, and John grinned, enjoying teasing his friend.

“Don’t worry Dave, it’s going to be someone you already know, I’m sure of it.” Dave looked at Rose skeptically.

“Well, I know a lot of people. Still, that would be better than what John suggested.  What about you, Jade?” They got into a conversation about the types of people that could be suitable for a girl like Jade, and made more than one joke about her sleeping habits. Eventually, it was clear that John and Jade were more excited about this soul mate thing than anyone, but Dave and Rose were too in their own reserved way. Unfortunately, the four friends ended up having to leave, and Dave signed off. He talked with his roommate a little, and sighed. He had a good birthday, and knew he only had a few more days to wait.

* * *

On December thirty first, Dave resided in his brother’s Texan apartment. Really, the man could have lived wherever he wanted. He was a genius with robotics, and he put them to use in one of the most terrifying, yet profitable ways possible: the porn industry. Since the launch of his site in Dave’s early childhood, Plush rumps made his older brother a multi billionaire. Dave always thought of it as a creepy way to earn money, but it got him into college, so he couldn’t complain.

Either way, his brother was present. He’d been visiting since school got out roughly a week ago, and received his friend’s presents. They were all gifts he appreciated, but now he attempted to stay cool, and collected. It was almost twelve, meaning that he’d find his soul mate in a few hours. Rose would pass out a little sooner than Dave would, and Jade was probably already in her soul mate’s body by now. He knew he’d have no recollection for the hours when they switched minds, but the transfer would start whenever he went to sleep. Dave sent a few nervous texts to John, who told him he couldn’t wait to hear about her tomorrow.

The blonde had already spoken to his older brother, who promised that he’d take care of him while his body was dormant. If his soul mate was 21 this year too, he promised he’d get their information, for Dave, and talk to them. Eventually, Dave stopped waiting around and decided to get ready, in case his soul mate showed up. The student used the bathroom and hoped Dirk would explain how to operate a penis, if necessary. He made sure his hair looked alright, and that no smuppets were laying around. The blonde placed paper and a few pencils on the desk beside him, just in case.  He knew he’d be in someone else’s body when he woke up, and his twelve hours would begin.

The soul transfer was something parents would always add in whenever they got ‘the talk’. When answers like ‘you switch souls’ stopped satisfying your child, a parent would eventually tell them how it worked. When the clock struck twelve on the New Years after your twenty first birthday, it didn’t matter what time zone you were in. You would follow the sleeping patterns of your soul mate’s body, and your twelve hours would start when your soul mate would usually wake up on January first.

During those twelve hours, your body, mind, and soul would go dormant. Your body would essentially be in a death like sleep, since your soul was gone. Meanwhile, your soul would travel into your soul mate’s body, and you would live twelve hours through their body, starting from the time you woke up. Usually, people would prepare for it by leaving paper out, as Dave had been doing since he turned twelve years old. Of course, he didn’t want his soul mate to be nine years older than him, but he left it out anyway just in case. Dave hoped his soul mate did the same thing.

If two soul mates were both 21 at the same time, they would just switch bodies, and both would be active throughout that time. Hopefully, you could find something and let them know who you were, then try to live a relatively normal day as them, and meet up with them at one point in the future. You could figure out their address, meet their parents, and find out what their interests were. Some people woke up the next day with writing on their skin, or hearts all over their rooms. Other people woke up naked.

Sometimes though, there were glitches. There were people who were 21 that would go to sleep on December thirty first, and wake up as themselves. It definitely wasn’t the greatest, especially for people that had been waiting their whole lives to find out. They had dating sites for them, and meet ups, and anything to give them a shot at romance. Most glitches ended up single. His older brother was like that, but the man never seemed bitter about it. He threw his heart and soul into his company, and ended up as one of the most successful people on the planet. Still, it had to hurt, knowing that you would never really confirm your soul mate.

Other times, soul mates would die, and that would cause the glitches. Once people were dead, their bodies couldn’t hold their soul mate’s soul. Some soul mates woke up in the hospital, in constant pain or missing body parts. Dave even remembered the story about the guy who ended up in his kidnapped soul mate’s body. ‘She’ was hurt, but he got them to reveal information about where he was. Luckily, they found the girl, but it was still something that horrified the world for years. Dave wasn’t sure what he would get when he woke up the next morning, but he only had one way to find out.

* * *

The next morning, Dirk flicked on the light in Dave’s room. He tried to wake the sleeping body of his brother up, but couldn’t, and realized his soul mate was younger than his sibling. With a shrug, he closed the door again and let him ‘sleep’. He knew he’d be hearing from him again tomorrow.

When Dave woke up, he didn’t immediately remember that he was supposed to be in his soul mate’s body. So when his eyesight was blurry even after he tried to adjust his eyes, he panicked a little. Eventually he remembered, and he felt a grin stretch across his face. He had a soulmate, and despite the fact that they clearly couldn’t see, they were alive, well, and even had a comfortable bed. He searched, and even through the blurriness eventually found a bedside table.

Dave picked up a pair of glasses, and put them on his face. Instantly, the world became visible again, and he let out a noise of appreciation. Then, Dave paused. His voice sounded low, for a girl.

“Words.” Dave tried, and immediately, he realized he was a guy. Well, Dave never considered himself super homosexual, but he guessed he’d deal with it later. After all, he didn’t mind that his soul mate was a guy, even if he had always pictured himself dating a female. Immediately, he tried to exit the bed, and had to adjust to standing up with a lighter body. Once he succeeded, he found a piece of paper on the table where he’d located his glasses. On it, he found a little message.

“Hi! This is a message to my soul mate, if you’re in my body right now. You probably can’t read this without my glasses, so nice job on getting those! I’m 20 years old, and I go to Washington State University. If you live in this state, give me a call. Or just call me anyway because I’m really excited to meet you. Anyway, I wrote a few questions, because I’m curious about you. If you can write the answers, I wrote all my information on the back.

What’s your name?

How old are you?

Are you in college, like me? What school?

What’s your favorite color?

What’s your phone number?

What’s your favorite movie?

What’s your favorite food?

What do you like to do?

PS: Can you text me or something, when you get back to your body? Also, Dad should be up right now, he’ll want to meet you!"

Dave felt a smirk pull at his lips as he read the paper. He immediately flipped the sheet over, and read it from bottom to top.  Apparently, this mystery man liked movies and playing piano. He loved fruit gushers, and liked the movie Con Air. Dave snorted at that, John would freak out if he knew. He wrote down his phone number, and said his favorite color was blue, like his eyes. He re-stated his school name, said he was 20, and Dave paused when he read the one above it.

“Holy shit.” He said, and stared down at the page, almost unbelieving. Rose was right, apparently. Because the name, posted right on top of the back, was Jonathan Egbert. Dave ran for the nearest mirror and staggered backwards. The face that looked back at him was one he’d seen a thousand times. It was John, his best friend in the world, who’d been speaking to him just last night. Dave put a hand on his face, and confirmed that yes, he was his best friend’s soul mate.

The boy spent the majority of ten minutes doing stuff he’d be embarrassed about later. He pinched himself, waited for a monster to come through the window, and even shouted ‘There’s no place like home!’ at the top of his lungs. After those few minutes of denial ended, he realized he was John Egbert’s soul mate. He was soul mates with someone he’d known all of his life, who was openly ‘not a homosexual’, and who practically preached about Nic Cage. Dave, after quickly coming to terms with it, decided he’d go back and write his information on the page.

He started from the bottom, just like he read it. Before he could write something in though, an idea sparked in his mind. He grinned, almost devilishly, and knew what he’d do. So, Dave put the pencil down, then picked it up again. Instead of answering his questions, he wrote in a little note.

“John. Hey, don’t freak out, but I’m your soul mate. I already know you, and you already know most of the questions you asked about me. I know you’ve been waiting for your soul mate your whole life, but I wanted to make this a little more interesting. So, I’ll tell you (or I guess you’ll find out) in a year. Still, try to figure it out. You know me, and I don’t think you’re in love with me, but I’ll try to change that. If you punch me after you figure it out, I totally understand. But hey, this will make a good one for the cocktail parties. I guess I could just draw little hearts all over your skin, but that’s so unoriginal, I want to do it this way. Good luck figuring it out! Love you.

PS: I’m going to see how long it takes for your dad to realize it’s not you. This is going to be great.”

Dave decided he’d give John at least one clue, and sign it with a sunglasses wearing smiley face. He couldn’t wait until John figured it out. He would drop hints when he could. Now, came the hard part- living out a day as John Egbert. Dave looked around for some clothing other than what he apparently wore to bed. He searched until he found a closet, and had to conceal a laugh when he saw the con air poster in his room. He still had it, after all these years.

Eventually he clothed himself and went downstairs, where he found John’s dad.

“Good morning, John. How did you sleep?” He asked, and Dave panicked for a second.

“It was okay. Anyway, I guess this isn’t the year for me.” ‘John’ said, and his father let out a sympathetic sigh.

“It’s alright John, you’ll find her next year.” The man said, and it gave Dave an idea.

“M-uh, Dad, what if it’s a guy?” John’s dad paused, but responded.

“Well, if he’s your soul mate, I’m sure you can love him too. Now, are you feeling hungry?” He asked, and Dave responded on impulse.

“No, not really. I think I’m going to go watch Con Air, I haven’t seen it in a while.” Dave said, and John’s father’s face looked suspicious, but he shrugged.

“Alright. Actually, mind if I join you?” He asked, and Dave froze, but kept his cool.

“Yeah, that would be great, Dad!” He said, and the man smirked, but stood.

“Great, I’ll set up the movie, you go get the popcorn.” He said, and Dave walked off to their kitchen, before realizing he had no idea where anything was. First, he saw a microwave. He eventually located a large bowl, and it took him a while, but he found the popcorn too. He popped two bags of popcorn, then put them in a bowl and brought them to the living room, where John’s dad sat with the TV. He looked mildly impressed, but started the movie.  

After sitting through some of the worst two hours of his life, but forcing himself to laugh at the worst lines, and even high five John’s Dad at one moment,  but eventually it ended. John’s dad turned to him.

“So, how was the movie, son?” He asked, and Dave forced a smile through John’s overbite.

“It was awesome, like every time! Nic Cage is so cool.” Dave said, and at that moment, John’s dad snorted, and it dissolved into a laugh. Dave was a little confused, but the man spoke up from his laughter.

“You do an impeccable impression of my son.” He said, and at that moment, he knew the jig was up. Dave sighed.

“How did you know?” He fully expected him to say his eyes sparkled differently, or some crazy thing only a father would know.

“John and I did this yesterday.” Came the response, and Dave looked a little miffed. Well, that worked too. John’s dad continued his words. “Anyway, how did you know when to laugh? Do you just really like this too?” He asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Heck no. I hate this movie. I’ve just heard John talk about it so many times that it’s hard to forget.” Dave confessed, and the man smirked.

“Oh, I see. Well, it would make sense that you know him well. Who are you? I’m sure John will be excited someone so close to him is his soul mate.” Dave put a hand on his arm.

“Actually, I was kind of hoping I could keep it a secret from John. Just until he figures it out on his own or he gets it next year. I want to see if he can figure it out, and maybe help him like me before he knows.” Dave said, and the man put a hand on his stubble chin.

“You’re not telling him? Wow, that’s quite the original approach. Fine, I’ll play along. He’s going to be mad at you, and me.” He said, and Dave smirked.

“Honestly, I think he’ll figure it out. But if I wake up with a black eye next year, I know I’ll deserve it. Either way, I think it’ll be worth it. John’s already my best friend, and the fact that he’s my soul mate is crazy.”

“Best friend? You wouldn’t be Dave Strider, would you?” The man trapped in John’s body looked a little surprised.

“Actually, yeah I am. I know you probably pictured John’s soul mate as a girl…” To his surprise again, the man’s eyes twinkled and he laughed.

“Not really, I always had an inkling it would be you. It’s nice to know John is in caring hands.”The man let out another laugh, and Dave felt himself liking this man. “Honestly, John talks about you more than he talks about Nic Cage. I can see why you two are soul mates.” The corners of Dave’s lips turned up, and he felt a little gush inside when he realized John told his father about him.

“Thanks, Mr. Egbert.”

“Please, call me Dad. You didn’t seem to have a problem with it earlier.” John’s dad winked, and Dave felt embarrassment spread itself across John’s cheeks in a physical form. He was used to being able to tone down his blushes, but it seemed like John’s body made that harder for him.

“Oh, thanks… Dad.” He amended, and the older man smiled earnestly at that. Dave looked up at him curiously. “Did you ever meet your soul mate?” He asked, and John’s Dad sighed.

“Yes, I did. When we got married, we had John. Her name was Jane, and she was beautiful.” He pointed to a picture of a woman above an urn. “She died when John was young, but I know with certainty that she was the most wonderful woman in the world, and I’ll always love her.” Dave looked down.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too, Dave.” They fell into an awkward silence before Dave spoke up.

“My brother is a glitch.” He said, and Dad looked at him curiously. “He never got to find his soul mate. I’m really lucky to have John.” Dave added, and John’s father put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“John is lucky to have you too, even if he doesn’t know it yet. I wish you two the best.” He said, and Dave smiled with John’s toothy grin.

“Thanks.” He said, then stood. Dave swayed for a second, but caught himself. It was weird being this close to the ground.

“If you’d like to look around, you can. You seem a little curious.” John’s father said, and Dave shrugged. It wasn’t like he had many other things to do right now. So, he started moving around the house, and John’s father went to work on something with a PDA.  He eventually found his way back to John’s room, then exited again and found a hallway of strange artwork. This had to be the clown painting obsession John told him about.

As he walked down the hallway, though it was more of a balcony over the living room area of John’s house, he noticed a mirror. Dave could see John’s dad from here on the couch. As Dave caught sight of ‘himself’, he admired John’s body in the mirror. He grinned, and let out an aww noise. John was so fucking adorable. His little overbite- and these eyes, I’m going to die. These are the biggest, bluest, cutest things in the entire universe. I think I’m in love with him already. Fuck, I am in love with him already. He’s going to be pissed at me. It’ll be worth it though, to see the look on his face. I love him so much, I wish I could hug him right now- oh wait. I can. And his butt is good too. I guess I’ve never seen it on Skype, but damn. John Egbert just got 50 butt points. I probably shouldn’t touch it though, but it just looks so-His train of thought ceased when he heard John’s father cough. He looked up expectantly, and the man spoke with a tone of stern fatherly disapproval in his voice.

“Dave, while I appreciate your comments on John’s appearance, I would appreciate it more if you filtered them a little.” Dave looked at him, confused.

“What?” He asked, and his father looked at him.

“Unless I’m a mind reader, you seem to think that rating my son’s butt and sharing it is appropriate.” The man said, and Dave looked confused, but his face exploded in red when he realized what happened.

“Fuck. I mean, sorry, I had one of my slip moments, I guess.” Dave said, and Dad raised an eyebrow.

“Slip moments?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s a Freudian Slip, and part of a thing I have called Parapraxis. It makes me articulate my thoughts without knowing it, and it only slips up when I’m not paying attention. Usually I can control it, but I guess with the whole body switch-” He saw John’s father try to hide a smile, and he could tell he felt bad, but the situation was funny in hindsight. “You can laugh, it’s okay. It usually doesn’t turn out this bad. Sorry.” Dave said, and his father covered his hand with his mouth.

“No, no it’s fine. Sorry, I didn’t know about this. I’ll, uh, try to stop you earlier if it’s clear you’re not talking to me. My apologies.” He said, and Dave offered him a nervous laugh.

“Don’t apologize, Mr- I mean, Dad. Sorry about that. I think I’ll, uh, go to John’s room or something.” Dave said, and John’s dad chuckled in mirth at the man’s embarrassment, and watched him walk away. He would be a lovely soul mate for his son indeed.

Eventually, the twelve hours ended, but not before John had two hearts on his hands. On the right, he had a blue one, and the left was in red. He didn’t want to mark up John’s skin too much, but he just wanted to give him one more clue before he left.

When Dave woke up in his own body, he grinned. He already had a multitude of messages from John, and they were all screeches of frustration. He told his brother about the experience, and he offered him a fist bump for his efforts. He met Rose’s soul mate, a tall young woman that looked like a supermodel, and Jade’s, a man who’s voice probably yelled more often than he talked. The highlight of the conversation was John though. He screeched about how his soul mate hadn’t left her name, and all his dad would do when he asked was laugh and deny that anything happened. Dave easily evaded questions about who his soul mate was, and smirked as John tried desperately to find his own.

Eventually, John fell prey to Dave’s charms, but it was already December by the time John admitted he was in love with his best friend. Of course, the day that John confessed was December 31st, and Dave had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. He didn’t respond, and told John to go to sleep instead, and find out who his soul mate was. After the confession, Dave decided that he’d try to be a little romantic, to make up for how much shit he put John through.

So, he put a giant sign up in his room, and wore a suit to sleep. He had roses everywhere, left him a cheesy video, and had his alarm play some soft remix he’d made up. He left gifts for ‘John’, and told him how he felt when he woke up a year prior on the same day, in John’s home. He wrote down the answers to all of those questions, from memory, and put blue and red hearts on his hands to match John’s last year. Dave couldn’t wait for John to wake up in his body.

When Dave’s eyes opened on January second, a day after John’s soul entered and left his body, he woke up to find a note on his desk. He almost shit himself with the excitement that came with reading it. All he found were three sentences.

“Dave, you’re a huge, red eyed dick. Now, everyone else can know it too. You better Skype me. –from, John.” Dave looked confused as he read the note. It wasn’t until Dave walked towards the mirror that he understood. On almost every part of his skin, he found penises drawn, in permanent marker. They were on his cheeks, across his eyebrows, and on his mouth. He saw it and tried to cover his face with his hands, until he found them covered in sharpie as well. The only place that lacked a penis was where he’d put the blue and red hearts.

He walked out of his room, and saw Dirk. Immediately, the man burst into laughter at his younger brother, and he offered him a middle finger in response. Still, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face, and when he finally sent a message to John through Skype, with the video on, he looked John straight in his eyes. The boy looked as smug as he could be, but Dave only laughed.

“It was worth it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day two, favorite AU/ your AU. So, I got this idea from some person I can’t find on AO3 right now, but I changed up a few things. Still, kudos to them for this cute AU, and I may write a sequel from John’s perspective, depending on how Johns are friends not food goes.  
> *Disclaimer, I have no problem with Weaboos, and choose not to discriminate against them for their interests. I do feel like seeing his older brother dressed up as anyone from Kill la Kill could turn Dave off anime for life, especially since he works in the porn industry.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So this is my first story for Johndave week 2016, which lasts from July 4th to the 8th, or 10th if you include the bonus days like me. So, this ended on a sad note, but don’t worry about it. Well, there’s my favorite canon interaction (and I had to search for this), but with more thoughts. I didn’t change a word of the pester logs, but they were way near the beginning, when nothing made sense, but no one was dying. (Seriously though, how did I ever miss a thirteen year old John saying ‘I’m attracted to you’, then laughing it off in the awkwardest way possible? Did anyone else miss this scene?)  
> Honestly, I’m really enjoying the beginnings of Homestuck, now that it’s ended. I mean, the times when Rose was killing pogo imps with pianos and throwing bathtubs through the wall, but somehow she remained the smartest one on the team were crazy, but no one really remembered them. I miss the days when they were thirteen and no one was dying, because if you re-read it, the pester logs are funnier since you understand what’s going on, and it’s really just a bunch of kids who are awful at a videogame trying to figure things out. That said, I would whole-heartedly recommend a re-read through acts 1-3, considering A, they’re the shortest, and B, they’re ridiculously funny since you understand what’s going on now. Really, Homestuck progressed the way any video game would, where things aren’t as good or easy to understand in the beginning, because you’re still figuring out how it works, but as you near the end the mechanics get easier and you end up enjoying more. So, kudos to Andrew Hussie for this lovely comic.  
> Thanks as always for reading, reviewing, or just viewing the story. I’ll see you guys tomorrow for day two, with an AU!  
> ((Also, you can find the info for JohnDave week at johndaveweek on tumblr. That’s the blog title, just type it in on mobile or add the http:// and .tumblr.com for computers.)


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